EXHALING MY GRATITUDE

EXHALING MY GRATITUDE


July 5th, 2016
GRATITUDE WEEK 1

Gratitude Week 1: Why start this challenge? 

Exhaling My Gratitude Week 1: June 26 ~ July 2 (I'm late posting) 

I need to thank Tina Zarlenga for motivating me to start writing again. There are few folks in my life that have recently given me additional inspiration…. you know who you are … most especially ALL my chicklets. The #52weeksofgratitude challenge is giving me the opportunity to dive back into writing. This is happening at the perfect time for me, as I feel like I'm going through a transition of sorts… a metamorphosis. I'm shedding pieces of myself (literally and figuratively) and LETTING GO and LETTING IT BE. I've held on so tightly to SO MUCH, that I lost sight of how much I was carrying …. so much of it … too much piled high in my arms … I couldn't see clearly…. and most of it UNNECESSARY … I didn't need any of it. And it wasn't just my stuff I was carrying. I was holding onto other people's stuff too … I took on their crap without hesitation… and even told them THANK YOU for letting me hold YOUR CRAP. I felt like I was stuck for so long. But along the way, there were gifts that I've been given. Some gifts started out as tragedies, but turned into blessings and clarity in the purest form. I'm starting to shed the unnecessary layers, and find pieces of me that I haven't seen in a very long time. I'm also finding pieces that I never knew existed … pieces that were never nurtured as a child and pushed down for my entire life … I'm slowly learning how to embrace it all. I was afraid to stop carrying everything, but most especially with regards to the babies … Faith & Robby. If I didn't hold onto them as tightly as I possibly could … I thought that would mean I was letting them go. Letting them go … again. And to say goodbye again …  the thought was unbearable. I am their mother … how else can you parent a child that is no longer here with you on earth. But I know now, I will never let them go … they are HELD … ALWAYS ... and LOVED in my heart and in my soul … and they will ALWAYS be a part of me. They live through everything I do … and their legacy lives and breathes within me and my family.

So with all of that said, I am starting this journey of gratitude to give myself a greater insight into life … THIS LIFE … wanting to learn more about myself and about others…. and wanting to be in the moment and be able to FEEL it with a genuine appreciation. I want to learn more about how I can find it with being STILL … feeling the CALM… SAVORING THIS LIFE… finding balance with joy - hope - grace - peace & love all simultaneously while there are tragedies - sadness - disappointments - sickness - pain - and horrible things that can happen. As a friend of mine once said, "this is why they call it LIFE". If the painful things did not happen … how would we ever discover or know what pure joy and being grateful is all about. 

I was trying to find some motivation with writing today. I received two books as a gift  from 2 very special people. BOTH the books helped me today, and I'm going to keep digging in :) . THANK YOU LADIES! 

Living out loud … living my truth… and trying to have courage and being fearless all at the same time. I'm telling my story. If it can help others … isn't that what we're supposed to do in this life? 

Peace & Love ….

#52weeksofgratitude

Exhaling my gratitude …. 

And I'm not waiting to exhale anymore …. I'm LEARNING to exhale ….