Waiting To Exhale: October 2010

Friday, October 22, 2010

Today was an interesting day with Hayes. First he said the prayer to God about Baby Hope....all on his own (see video)....and then we went to the store prior to going to a friend's house to play. As we were getting back in the car the following is the conversation:

Hayes: Mommy......when Baby Hope gets here....Daddy is going to stop working...right? He's going to be at home with us?

Me: No honey.....Daddy has to work so we can pay our bills, live in our house, buy food, and buy all the things we need to live. Why do you think Daddy is going to stop working?

Hayes (said it quite matter a fact-sincerely-and very sweetly): Well, if Daddy's going to go to work...then who's going to wipe my duppy (bottom/butt) when I go poopy? You'll be with Baby Hope helping her.

Me: (Trying not laugh...or smile too big) Ahhhh Buddy.....Mommy will be able to still help you honey.....I'll be helping and taking care of Baby Hope...BUT I will STILL BE ABLE to help YOU...and I'll be able to wipe your duppy....I can do BOTH....and take care of both of you....you just have to be patient like we talked about when Baby Hope comes...because sometimes you might have to wait since she's a baby...and sometimes I'll need YOUR help with her too....because your the Big Brother!

Hayes: Oh. Ok Mommy....thanks!

How FUNNY kids are-the way they think! This was the FIRST question about ANYTHING to do with him and Baby Hope over lapping....or how the care would work with both of them....and how endearing that he just thought Bob was going to of course quit his job to take care of HIM....two kids...a parent per kid....makes sense I guess! How sweet....I had to document this so I can print it off and put it in the "Hayes book". I love my Hayes!!!

Our DEEP conversations in the car...it's better than doing "play therapy" with my own kid....so much is revealed!!!

October 16, 2010 (Saturday)

Hello Family & Friends,

We wanted to give everyone an update on Baby Hope! TODAY I'M 30 WEEKS PREGNANT!!! I can't even begin to express how happy we are about that! We've been in the 3rd trimester officially for two weeks, and we're so relieved to be at viability with Baby Hope. It's been a wild ride so far, and we're grateful for each and every day.

For the most part, everything has been going well. I had the steroid lung injections for the baby at 24 weeks. This is the injection that helps to speed up the baby's lung development. The doctor wanted me to have this shot because of the possibility of Hope coming at any time. The reality IS that she can come at any time because of my clotting issues...but the fact that she's staying snug as a bug inside of me AND is growing-is incredible to us. The doctor will repeat the lung steroid injections at 31/32 weeks-and then again close to 34 weeks just to be safe.

We've had numerous doctor appointments to keep an eye on the baby. Our most recent ultrasound with Dr. Philipson (in depth ultra sound looking at the organs, growth, etc) was this past Tuesday which revealed that the baby is looking GREAT. The previous ultrasound was exactly 4 weeks prior-and in that 4 week time frame Hope DOUBLED her weight...and she's weighing in at 3 1/2 POUNDS! This is a tiny bit bigger than "average"...and everyone was very pleased with her progress and growth! The bigger she is the better.....in case she's born now or any time in the near future-so this is GOOD!

I started to get Braxton Hicks contractions about 3 weeks ago-and they became more intense as of 2 weeks ago. The doctor said to call if I had more than 6 an hour...and I was basically having them anytime I was on my feet....along with on-going pressure. As of October 1st...the doc put me on a modified bedrest for the weekend-and then told me to stay off my feet when I could. I've continued to have these "braxton hicks" contractions accompanied with a lot of pressure....mostly non-stop when I'm up and about, but I AM trying to lay low and sit when I can. The doctor instructed me to get to the hospital immediately if they become any worse. We know we can go into labor at any time, so having the experience of the contractions only alerts us to pay attention even more-so we can be sure to get the hospital in time in case we need to deliver the baby.

The "PLAN" for the most part remains the same. The doctor would still like to induce me some time between 34 and 36 weeks (11/13 - 11/27). He recently said last week, that if things progress and go as well as they have....that there might be a possibility to extend it to 37 weeks-but he will NOT allow me to go any further (would have me deliver the baby by 12/4 at the LATEST). So, December 4th is the DEFINITE cut off date-and we know FOR SURE that the baby will be here by then. Getting to 37 weeks would be a dream come true....we would be so blessed if we're able to get to 34 weeks-we've been holding our breath...and will continue to do so until she gets here! We have to play it all by ear starting at week 34. The factors to consider for induction will be doing the amnio. This will be done at week 34, and will show the doctor if the baby's lungs are developed enough (yes the amnio can give them that information). The other big thing to consider is me-my cervix-and if I'm ready at all. If there are no signs of readiness-then he'll want to wait a week-and so on. This will probably repeat each week until we reach 37 if necessary. We're hoping we can get to week 37, but that may not necessarily be the best for the baby either. Because of my clotting issues, we run the risk of the baby being deprived at any time from oxygen and nutrients that she needs from the placenta. There is no way they can medically look at the placenta, so the only measurement is through growth monitoring of the baby. If at anytime they notice a stunt in growth-they may want to induce sooner than 34 weeks if I don't go into labor on my own. It all depends. At this rate, she is doing so well with growth....that we are ALL hoping she continues-and that just maybe our little HOPE can bake until 36 or 37 weeks-WOW that be such a gift! Really, we only have 4 to 6 weeks until Hope's debut....so that's pretty darn exciting!

Hayes is so excited to have a little sister here on earth-and has been nothing but positive about Hope. He kisses my belly-he talks and sings to Hope-and he tells me all the things he's going to show her and teach her. He includes her when talking about toys-and things that he wants...and always mentions how "Baby Hope can have the pink one Mommy". He's been pretty thoughtful for a 4 1/2 year old-and I'm so thankful for his embrace and excitement towards her. I have not doubt that he has concerns and in his own way worries that the baby is going to die/go to Heaven like Faith & Robby. We've been sensitive to his needs and we try to talk about Hope-and how well she's doing. He's come to a couple doctor appointments with me-and Dr. Alvarez even let him hold the ultrasound piece that goes on my belly to see the baby on the monitor (he thought that was really kool!). Hayes will soon take over the guest bedroom-and it will be transformed into his BIG BOY BEDROOM-focus being the the solar system (no not the Buckeyes yet-even though that's what Daddy wanted)! Hope will get Hayes' current bedroom-as it's set up for a baby-and the room's a little smaller. We've made limited progress on getting things done, but I think mentally we just couldn't get there until now. We hope to at least get Hayes' room completed, and the baby's room will come in time. As long as she has me, the bassinet, and clothes....she's got it all! We DID order her furniture for her room.....that should be here in 4 weeks or so!!!

Hope moves ALL THE TIME...she is the most active baby I've ever had! Starting about a month ago-I would just lay on the couch and lift my shirt to show my belly to Bob and Hayes...and you can see the waves of her movement...summersaults...vaults..all of it...it's pretty neat! I LOVE feeling her move-and most especially when Hayes feels her move. At first I was concerned, but the doctor said it was really good...because it means she's getting a lot of oxygen...and the more activity the better! She's kicking me right at this very moment! I'm going to miss feeling her inside of me....and I'm trying to savor every moment with her during this pregnancy.....even though it's been filled with fear and hope all at the same time.

Overall, October is kind of a tough month for us. In 2008 Grandpa Cerrito died on October 11th, I went into labor for the first time with Robby on October 13th-in the hospital thru October 15th-discharged on "National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance day" (which was my FIRST time to light a candle for Baby Faith)...on bed rest.....then I proceeded to go into labor 4 more times with Baby Robby...until he was born on October 28th, 2008. On a positive note, our foundation-Legacy of Love and Cornerstone of Hope hosted our 2nd annual program last night at Cornerstone for "National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day" which is on October 15th every year. Our program is called "A Life Remembered", and we had the privilege of honoring 50 babies this year...with over 90 people in attendance. We did a candle lighting ceremony - called the "Wave of Light" which is done at 7pm in every time zone across the world-and a candle gets lit for all babies that have gone to Heaven. It's been amazing to get feedback from people and see how many lives we've been able to touch.....we hope to continue our efforts and do even more in 2011. Thank you to our friends and family-and specifically the grandparents who acknowledged this very important event-which means so much to both Bob and I...and for actually coming to support us and the babies...and our foundation. We love you Papa (Dad), ChaCha (Charlene), LoLo (Lois), Papa (Bob), and GaGa (Godmother Amy)! We also participated in OUR 3rd annual walk for Faith & Robby...."Child of My Heart - Walk To Remember" sponsored by the James B. Knoop Foundation on September 12th. Again, we thank our family that came to support us and walked to remember our babies - Dad, Charlene, Lois, Bob, Amy (GaGa), Tommy, Heather, and Anastasia (my God daughter!) - having you there means more than I can tell you!

Thank you to friends and family that continue to reach out-and for all your prayers, thoughts, cards, and gifts for Baby Hope! She is one lucky baby....she has NO IDEA how blessed she is with all the prayers and thoughts you have all offered and for thinking of us so often........THANK YOU!

We hope you and your families are well-and that your fall and holiday seasons to come are special and you get to cherish time with family. The next update will probably be about Baby Hope's arrival...and we'll be sure

to let everyone know when that time comes! THANK YOU AGAIN for caring!!!

Attached are some pictures - we had 3Ds done of Baby Hope last Saturday (my Dad got to be with us when we did it-the man's never even seen even a regular ultrasound-so he thought it was pretty neat), and then my dear friend Kim Wheatley (Donna Wheatley Photography) took some pregnancy pictures of me and Baby Hope (and a few of the fam)!

Love-Meme & Bob (Robert)