July 29th, 2010 update: Baby Bubnick #4 - IT'S A...........

July 29, 2010

Subject: Baby Bubnick #4 - IT'S A.........................

Dear Family & Friends,

We wanted to give everyone an update on our progress with Baby Bubnick #4! Things have been good for the most part. Our danger zone has been this past month, so it's been a tough few weeks. Week 14 through 18 is the time frame when Faith and Robby were born. Last Thursday would have been the last and final time we went into labor with Robby-and Faith a couple weeks prior to that.

We had a couple of scares. I had the same exact spotting right on my 14 week mark-which was exactly the same time frame with Faith & Robby when problems started. The spotting was EXTREMELY light.....but again so similar to the beginning of the issues with Faith & Robby so we were really scared. Luckily, we've had NOTHING since. I haven't had any contractions or any other physical symptoms to report thus far. In addition, my first set of blood work came back with a good possibility for Downs. My numbers were 1 in 36 which is slightly worse than the average for a 41 year old. They recommend a CVS or an Amnio anytime the numbers are poor. However, given the rate of miscarriage with these invasive tests-we opted NOT to do it. I did the second round of blood work-and my numbers turned around...they popped up to 1 in 2,000 for Downs-which the docs were elated...and so were we (we got the news last week).

Today I'm 18 weeks and 5 days pregnant! Can I tell you how HAPPY WE ARE about that!!! I continue doing my Lovenox/blood thinner injections on a daily basis, which we HOPE and believe is making the difference this time-it's the magic elixir! I started my P17 (Progesterone) injections a couple weeks ago. The P17 shots are done weekly by the nurse because it's a special "Z" injection and goes between the hip and the dupa (thats the word we use with Hayes for "bottom" or "butt" - I think it's funny). Research has shown that P17 shots have helped with prevention of pre-term labor. I had three P17 shots while I was pregnant with Robby before he was born. Some of you have asked what the doctor has said about our progress. There isn't a lot that they can do at this point except monitor me and allow me to check in when I need to. They're doing everything that they can for prevention and monitoring. Dr. Alvarez is "optimistic" and is happy we've recently gotten through our milestone dates. I see the doc about every other week these days. We LOVE Dr. Benito Alvarez-he is an amazing person-and an incredible doctor! We're so fortunate God kept putting him in our path! When I first started seeing him for this pregnancy, I asked how often I'd have to have an ultra sound, etc....and he said, "for YOU-anytime you want". That's how he is....and every time I've been there I've gotten to see the baby on the older less expensive ultra sound/wheel in machine (we call it the 1974 special..another friend named it the Zenith 500-ha!). It's so good to be able to see the baby each time...and thus far I've also gotten pictures. He put a note in the system and told me to come anytime I want or as often as I need to-and said the receptionists can squeeze me in. I took the opportunity to take my Mother-in-law (Lois) to one of my doc appts to meet Dr. Alvarez. My Mom will get to meet him when she's in town (she briefly met him in Oct of 2008 when we were in labor with Robby), and I'll be taking Charlene in August to meet him. I told each of the Mom's that they can ask ANY questions they want-we just want to make them each part of the process and include them. I hope to take GaGa (Amy-Bob's sister-and the God Mother to each of our babies) to an appt with Lois as well. I want GaGa to see her newest baby on the ultrasound machine!!! With that said, we are trying to celebrate and embrace all the positives and each day is a miracle with this life inside of me!

The DUE DATE remains as December 25th-Christmas Day! The plan remains for the doc to take the baby between weeks 34 and 36. Full an complete gestation goes to week 40. We will try for a induction/vaginal delivery since it's the safest and best way for the baby and for me. We'll see...one thing at a time. We just hope and pray we'll make it to at least week 34!

We had the anatomy scan this past Monday. Another Doc we love is Dr. Philipson-and he does all of our in-depth ultrasounds (on the high tech machine) and blood work. He's done the scans and blood follow up work for all our babies. The GREAT news is that the scan went very well. The baby looks great....and in fact the measurements of bones, the brain, the heart, everything "looks perfect" per Dr. Philipson. He asked how I was doing emotionally...and I just explained that this past month has been the hardest. We are absolutely joyful and so grateful for THIS baby...and getting through these milestone dates bring a relief and more HOPE for us. Yet, going through the milestone dates also bring out our raw feelings for Faith & Robby...and knowing how each of them looked when they were born...their size...their little perfect faces and bodies...and the fact that they're not here with us hitting us....hits us like a lead balloon. There are times I'm just in awe that I'm actually pregnant...and there are times that it truly leaves me breathless. This is all just part of our journey...and it's ok and appropriate to have all of these feelings (that's coming from the Social Worker in me). Thank God for therapy-love ya Milt!

Hayes came with us to the anatomy scan/ultrasound this past Monday-and we made a big deal of it. Hayes was good-and it was neat to include him this time! So drum roll please........................................................................................................................................

IT'S A .............................GIRL!!!!!

We're PRETTY SURE her name will be Hope.....OUR BABY HOPE! Hayes is REALLY excited and told me, "Mommy I want to buy a pink blanket and a pink bow for her hair!". Bob told me I NEED to go back to work like SOON since it's a girl-ha! We didn't care either way what it was going to be.....we truly really just want a healthy almost full term living breathing baby lacking in nothing. That would be a dream come true!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR GOOD THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS! We can't begin to thank friends and family that have reached out to us-and that have asked how we're doing and all your caring efforts! To get through the milestone dates for Faith and Robby is one thing..but, we will be scared until this baby is here-with us and is ok.

I have started my blog, but I'm still trying to get the foundation pieces put together. As soon as it's "ready" I'll send out the website to everyone in case your interested and want detailed updates. The blog is pretty personal, and I'm using it to document our journey...along with beginning my efforts with writing pieces for my book.

Exciting news I thought I'd share - when we saw Dr. Philipson this past Monday he is writing a book about women that have had pregnancy/infant losses and about women that have had babies with chromosomal abnormalities-and their journeys emotionally with their experience with the clinical staff/nurses/docs...and the after math-who supported them-how they relied on other women, who they relied on, etc. Well, he asked me to write about my experience for an entry in his book! We felt like it was a sign considering I was trying to get my arms wrapped around staring my process with our book! I asked if he'd be willing to write a forward for my book-and he agreed. For those of you that don't know Dr. Philipson...he has quite the background and reputation in his field...so it was an honor to have him ask me. I haven't told the Dell family yet...but he also said he'd mention our Foundation (Legacy of Love) in the book as well-which is REALLY a big deal!

Hope you and yours are well, and that everyone is having a good summer! Again, thank you for all your prayers!

Love-Meme & Bob

The beginning of Baby Hope's Journey - the email sent at the end of April 2010 to family & friends announcing our pregnancy

End of April 2010

Hello Folks,

We wanted to share some good news with all of you! After 14 months of trying to get pregnant, 21 months since I last conceived, turning 40 this past September, getting through Baby Robby's first year mark of his burial/EDD on 4/2, continuing to grieve/miss our babies in heaven with profound sadness.........AND on our LAST try this past month before we were going to begin some more aggressive fertility interventions....God once again gave us our first miracle of hopefully many (I'm counting each day as a miracle) (yes I know that was a run on sentence)!

*******We're PREGNANT!************

It's still early, but I'm 5 weeks pregnant tomorrow. We're only sharing the news with the special people in our lives right now....so it's still a secret really to most family and friends.....shhhhh....please don't tell anyone! Given our circumstances, there really is not a "good time" or "right time" to share the news.......so we figured we'd at least tell the people who love us and support us!

It's been a wild ride and very difficult...month after month with not having any success....and for God to give this to us on our last try....it's so amazing to us! We weren't on ANY meds...NOTHING this past month (past couple of months). We tried 6 months of clomid...that was not successful...we tried progesterone....nothing. In moving forward, we were planning to do IUI next month. We even had our IUI training appointment with nurse Brenda on 4/6. We were there for 2 hours learning about IUI, how to give myself the "super ovulation" med injections, and worked through our many questions. During that appointment, it was surreal to both Bob and I that we were sitting there....that after all this time we couldn't get pregnant and now to do IUI with no guarantee for success and all the money that would be spent. Getting pregnant is only the FIRST step of many miracles to get through. It's been stressful to say the least....and my age/clock has been ticking VERY loudly...along with the fertility professionals reminding us to act quickly...no more breaks in trying....and to do things as promptly as possible.

I started my blood thinner injections (Lovenox) this past Monday-which is good! The sooner the better as far as I'm concerned! I give the injections to myself-very much like a diabetic...I had to go to Hillcrest Hospital this past Monday and have the nurse train me. The blood thinner is supposed to do the trick given my genetic clotting mutation, along with Bob's (yes we BOTH have a genetic clotting mutation...and the theory is that when we come together to make a baby....it makes for the clotting situation with the baby, etc). With that being said, Hayes was clearly even more of a miracle then he ALREADY was (he had much clotting and many infarctions on his placenta upon delivery)! Also, now I know why I gained this extra 20 lbs that I REALLY needed to lose.......I needed FAT to pinch for the injections..........so maybe I won't get stretch marks-how great is that ha ha (I SO should have lost that weight)!

I feel really good. Just the normal really really tired stuff....which is fine. It was a wild week though. I thought for sure I was NOT pregnant...and I probably had one of the worst weeks I've had in a very long time last week with thinking I wasn't pregnant once again (the week of April 12th). I took the first pregnancy test and.......I was shocked. I've been taking multiple blood tests over the past week to confirm that my HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels are rising-and it's actually more than the average numbers! I have my first appointment with Dr. Alvarez on Tuesday (before he goes to Alaska for 3 weeks!)....so I'm excited to see him and just "check in".

PLEASE say some prayers. Our danger zone with both babies in the past starts usually around the 14th week...and proceeds through the 18th week and on. We're hoping and praying that the blood thinner and GOD carries this baby to full term, but there is a possibility that while the thinner can work.......I could still go pre-term....but let's just hope we get way past the danger zone...and that the baby gets to full term! I complete my first trimester on my sister-in-law's birthday (Amy/GaGa), June 12th...and the 15th week mark is on July 3rd (4th of July weekend). My DUE DATE is December 25th.....CHRISTMAS DAY....Jesus' Birthday-how neat is THAT!

We wanted to share our special news with each of you! You have all been there for us over the past 2 years....and we can't thank you enough for your friendship and support. We know this is early to "share" our news, but you are all people we'd tell if something ends up happening as well. I'm going to attempt to create a blog so we can keep family and friends updated on our progress...along with giving me an outlet...and it will be a way to document it all (I know some of you are aware.......I want to write a book some day-don't laugh...ha!).

Thank you again for being a part of our lives, and sharing and supporting us through our joys AND our sorrows!

Love-Meme (and Bob)